"I love you, a bushel and a peck...a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck"
I will always remember my Nana singing this song, in her kitchen on Sturgeon Lake. I spent every summer up there, hearing her sing and her ha-ha-ha laugh. Yesterday, we spread her ashes. I was sorry to see they were in a plastic bag inside a cardboard box - she didn’t want a funeral or any fanfare, but she was a very classy lady and deserved better than that.
Today is a much harder day, emotionally, than yesterday. The finality of that act followed by the passing down of her things did not bring the closure I’ve been longing for. The ache in my heart is stronger and the tears in my eyes more heavy, when I think of how much I love and miss her...but there is a sense of guilt too, because I didn’t tell her during that last visit in January, and she was gone shortly thereafter. I couldn't say I love you, I couldn't say goodbye. I knew she was dying, and I didn’t have the courage to say the words out loud. I didn’t have the courage to make it real.
I love you Nana. I miss you, too. I talk to you, sitting on the mantle. Do you hear me? I wear your wedding band almost every day; I get choked up when people ask me about it. I often see a white butterfly in my yard – I talk to it and when I do, it comes closer. I like to think you have something to do with it. I like to think that maybe, it's you.
I love and miss you so much, Nana...a bushel and a peck.
xoxo
I will always remember my Nana singing this song, in her kitchen on Sturgeon Lake. I spent every summer up there, hearing her sing and her ha-ha-ha laugh. Yesterday, we spread her ashes. I was sorry to see they were in a plastic bag inside a cardboard box - she didn’t want a funeral or any fanfare, but she was a very classy lady and deserved better than that.
Today is a much harder day, emotionally, than yesterday. The finality of that act followed by the passing down of her things did not bring the closure I’ve been longing for. The ache in my heart is stronger and the tears in my eyes more heavy, when I think of how much I love and miss her...but there is a sense of guilt too, because I didn’t tell her during that last visit in January, and she was gone shortly thereafter. I couldn't say I love you, I couldn't say goodbye. I knew she was dying, and I didn’t have the courage to say the words out loud. I didn’t have the courage to make it real.
I love you Nana. I miss you, too. I talk to you, sitting on the mantle. Do you hear me? I wear your wedding band almost every day; I get choked up when people ask me about it. I often see a white butterfly in my yard – I talk to it and when I do, it comes closer. I like to think you have something to do with it. I like to think that maybe, it's you.
I love and miss you so much, Nana...a bushel and a peck.
xoxo
The first of many summers spent with my beautiful Nana.
So beautiful. Big hugs to you and yours.
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